Dress like a hooker day!

So coming into work after a long T-Day holiday is unpleasant as best as we all know. Remedy wear something new, warm, cozy... and TASTEFUL. We're going to work people. Really.

So it took my seeing the girl in the elevator and the girl crossing the street toward me in the intersection this morning to realize that maybe today is "Dress Like A Hooker Day" and I didn't get the memo...

Girl in Elevator: Sprayed "Kelli Ripa" bleach blonde hair, make-up: thick, tons of bronzer, and dark smoky eyes, lips coated in that thick nude color lipsticks sported by pornstars..., dark creame colored wool pants, satin camisole - ivory, and cropped sweater white with GOLD SEQUINS, and we won't forget to mention that she reeked of heavy perfume. Oooh forgot to mention the very pointy bronze metallic pearlized leather pumps and matching hobo bag. Oddly she had a see through plastic vegetable bag with her which seemed to contain her calendar and some printouts - nice breifcase cutey!

Girl in Crosswalk: Heavy set. Hot rollered hair - slightly teased (not really acheiving that bedhead look - at all...), colorful makeup, Jewel toned floral blazer, jeans, jeans that were tight on the thighs and tucked into ivory, studded, slouchy rocker boots! And a frighteningly oversize hobo bag. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!

Then it was confirmed - Today was definitely Dress like a Hooker day when I walked into the building to see all of the horrible overdone Christmas Decorations that done turned our building into a Christmas Ho'!

Happy Holidays!!!!!!
(bah humbug)

When is a dog not a dog?

When it's a fashion accessory.

7:48 this morning, glancing around the train and seeing the BART Police with a bad-ass teeth baring German Shepard in tow and realizing *that* is the most compelling fashion accessory of the commute.

Dogs as fashion accessories are definitely the new black.

What goes on in Vegas....

....is primarily sadly "naked" or nearly naked people who really shouldn't be.

Thank goodness what goes on in Vegas stays in Vegas - because that means I won't have frightening cleavage and flabby (Midwest) arms and fat-rolls in (and spilling out of) tank tops coming at me from all angles.

Mind you I pretty much think that fleece was created by the anti-christ, but it was so exciting to be on a BART train chock-full of fleece wearers - some with multiple layers of the stuff. Those wearing anything that zipped all the way up and that chose to do so were also my morning commute heroes.

more to come on the bad fashion from my weekend in Fabulous Las Vegas to come~!

The New Shoe Review

all I can say is that even though I only saw them out of the corner of my eye... Yellow shoes rock.
I want them to have been low profile sneaks like the new-school pumas, with that cute lil cat and some velcro and some mesh... but regardless. So f'in cool.

Yellow.

Not really school bus yellow, and not really lemon yellow... more like (YES!) Uma Thurman's outfit in Kill Bill Yellow - that would make a great name for a crayon no? "Kill Bill Yellow"

The best part about the yellow shoe wearer was that a) it was a guy, and b) there was no other yellow on his outfit. So it wasn't an attempt to be 'matchy' or 'tie in the look'. Lesson to learn: take risks people, it won't kill you if you take it slow and test drive one cool risky element at a time.

Also: great tip from Marie Claire (that I saw while flipping thru a mag at work yesterday), don't match your shoes exactly to your bag (unless they're black), just stick to the same color family and make sure the hardware/metallic details match - i.e. if the buckle on the bag is silver then any rings, chains, buckles, etc on the shoes must also be silver...

TTFN - and remember: head to toe great looks are guaranteed if on that head is a smile on on those feet great shoes!

Rain doesn't look good on anyone....

ssshhh... I'm just gonna sneak right back in here like I've not even been gone....

So here's the thing about rain. It puts everyone in a bad mood. For anyone who says "I'm only happy when it rains" - really is stuck in the 19's - c'MON folks only Garbage and the Smiths can really convince that they're happier when it's murky, wet, and miserable out. Please step right up this train is heading into the 2000's.

So, it's hard to be glamourous when your leg lenthening trousers come so dangerously close to trailing in puddles - worry lines do not a pretty face make! Also, it's hard to bust out one of those amazing fashion-accessory smiles when your toes are chillin' in squishy socks or in damp shoes.

Plus - as much as you're made to think there are fashionable rain coats out there - please. Stop letting them fool you. Even the slickest of Burberry trenches aren't really flattering or fun. They're luxurious only by means of their pricetag! I find that I rarely even bother with the raincoat, I just throw a hat or the tiniest umbrella possible in my tote - because if the rain doesn't end up touching your head - you don't even know it's raining!

Actually a cute 'bucket hat/rain cloche' is the cutest and smartest rain accessory around!

oh and those (annoying on kate moss only because she wears them when its NOT raining) wellies - those are pretty cute and handy too!

So back to rain not being a look that works for most, i do have to say it *does* work for ridding the city of the smell of urine, looks GREAT dotting the pretty pretty faces of flowers everywhere, and helps to create a fantastic sound on metal roofs, and under tires swooshing their way to work.

So since the rainy season has just begun, try to do your best to bust out of the gloom and doom and the propensity for lazy (bad) fashion.... and skip the coat - go for the rain hats.

(this post not brought to you by the rain hat council of San Francisco)